Wednesday, December 5, 2007

In Search of Lost Time


...out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot,
Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (Macbeth)


One of my most memorable moments while playing a video game has been standing on the quiet beautiful green hill in Dragon Quest 8 and observing the sun set and the sun rise, watching the moon and the star shining brightly in the sky, and the cool breeze blowing made me feel alive, and I could feel the morning dew, and the smell of fresh grass gave me a sense of living.

I like journeys, it could be in any form - literature, music, video games, cinema and life. Each of them has a special quality attached to it. Playing Dragon Quest 8 for over two years and just taking in things slowly and letting it slip and sink made the whole journey amazing. I still haven’t completed the game and it doesn’t bother me a bit, for me it's the journey that counts and not the destination. Destination is like El Dorado, like Aguirre Wrath of God, who was doomed from the start when his ambition drove the journey into a maniac cry for the destination. No journey is complete without the presence of a solid companion. The companion could be your book, your iPod, your PSP, your thoughts, your friend .. anyone, or anything.

That’s the reason I like hoping from one place to another, like a bohemian. Living like one has its share of pros and cons. Though the number of disadvantages is always on the higher side, I love living this way, it may sound odd but that’s how I live. A number of times I have thought let’s settle down and get a flat of my own, as the shifting from one place to another is pain in the ass. But the sense of journey always keeps me excited and going. It’s fun playing your life like a Russian roulette. There are no regrets, only chances, and each chance teaches you’re about life.

In the past six month their has been two very memorable incidents as I would like to call it. I was staying with a friend of mine for a while; staying means, living for few days. All I had was my bag, with some of my clothes, my laptop. That’s all I carry for traveling between destinations. One night as I returned to his place happily with food in my hand, it must be late at night, I was ordered to take my stuff and leave the place. It’s interesting, how sometimes your friends for reasons unknown do things. I requested them to allow me stay over that night so that I could go somewhere next morning, but no one was ready to listen. So, there I was sitting on the pavement, with my bag, my laptop, my food. I called up another friend and he luckily came down, so both of us sat and ate food at the foot-path. It was a unique experience sitting down and just eating .A very spiritual and peaceful experience. The entire night, we spent sitting and sipping tea at the railway station. We talked the about cinema, art, food, health, life damn everything under the same. And sure enough it was a unique day, a unique journey.

After that incident I decided to settle down, so I thought why not pay two of my friends and have a places to live, and I could travel from one place to another whenever I’m bored. I loved the feeling of living in a proper place of my own for a while, not one but two. Then in a day I paid both of them for the flat. And for the first time I felt a different kind of satisfaction. However, my satisfaction was short lived. After having paid both my friends, I traveled to meet a friend of mine. He loves reading, writing and has an opinion on every contemporary issue, and his knowledge and grasp on literature and politics is unprecedented for a guy of his age. So it’s always unique sitting over for a cup of coffee or tea with him, at the end of each session which usually goes on for hours, I’m enlightened about things I had never known. As usual we sat till it was time for the shops to be closed, so we parted ways. I was happy contemplating where I should go to sleep tonight. I have two places of my own now. I called one of my friends, who tells me he had to go out of town immediately today evening, I then ask him about the keys to which he quips he forget to give it to the neighbor. I couldn’t help but cursing him, but I just swallowed down my anger.

Then I call the second friend of mine, and to my horror, he doesn’t pick up the phone. Now, I’m confused as hell. Eventually when he does pick up the phone, he tells me he got a sudden burst of pain in his stomach and he immediately had to go home. To my horror he too had taken the keys. And all he says, why don’t I break the lock?

It was already too late to break locks anywhere, and by the time I would have reached any one of the houses and decide to break locks, it would be well past midnight. I couldn’t even go to the friend's place I just met, his relatives were over. So I took the rickshaw to the local market, and sat at the Nescafe coffee shop, sipping coffee, eating noodles all night long.

Each journey has been a unique experience. Each day is a new day for me, each night a new night, each place a new experience. From the railways station to the footpath, every place had a unique story to tell, and gave me a new perception of life. As my college life is coming to an end, I wonder where my bohemian ways will lead me too. Would I go on living like this in future, or would thing change? I don’t know what destiny has in store for me. Till the time, my mind is without fear and the head held up high, then, who gives a … F U C K.



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