Sunday, May 11, 2008

TASHAN: - A Pervert guide to a Bollywood Film.

( More intoxicating than sleeping pill)

1) Star and power + Yashraj= Immense success – False.


2) Once the tracking shot was a question of morale. Today, thanks to Jimmy Jib, our directors love moving in an out of shots without any purpose, every god-damn framing and composition are tried here- without understanding the basic nature of angle, shot, frame and composition.


3) Ever since the likes of Tarantino and Guy Ritchie decided to create the phenomenon of circular tracks; it has been misused to the max, and something similar can be seen in the film. Eventually leading to a severe headache.

4) How long can people in the Industry and Yashraj keep fooling us with their star power, money and repeated stories? There is no difference between our local vegetable seller and this people; after all, each time I go to the market, they scream on top of their lungs selling their products, something similar with our filmmaker when they proclaim:

“Our films have emotions, drama, song and dance and over-top stories, and this is what our audience love and we will keep feeding them till eternity”

Personal integrity and hardship are attached in both scenarios, but the sad fact is, ' Cinema and good films require more than catering to the demands of the audience'.

Something similar happened with Jodha Akbar, Mr Gowarikar spend five years researching the films, but in the end he proclaimed:

“I wanted to give the audience what they wanted: emotions, saas-bhau drama, etc”

So the million dollars question: "Why did the ‘fuck’ you research five years for a film, if you wanted to make another run-of-the-mill Bollywood film."

5) The amount of money spend in shooting a song, should have been distributed among worthwhile filmmakers, who could make 10 more films with that amount of money which was spend on shifting the location from Ladkah to Kerala in a single song sequence. Without purpose- Stale and redundant.

6) The director should not be blamed on any count for this film or a lot of films which are released under such big Production house banner. Since these ' Directors' don’t have the say in the final product of the film. Here it’s the Yashraj group which should work and shift focus in balancing between making good honest commercial films, and good honest films. And the blame for this film should go to Mr Aditya Chopra and his group.

7) The film had no head or tail, if the people behind it believed they were making some post-modern work- with homage to an era gone in filmmaking; I presume, they have to go back and watch those films, and also spend time understanding the meaning and definition of Post-Modern.



8) The film should have ended even before the interval. Since after that everything was just an exercise to complete the film. Sad Dry humor, bad pathetic monologue, extremely sad characterization, and overtly bad film.


9) The film was an exercise for Kareena Kapoor to show her new toned abs, and the Bo Derek was important bait in getting the audience.


10) A sad fact about all Bollywood compostion:-

1) The background does not exist in any given space.

2) All characters in a given space are shot and photographed in the foreground.

3) The usage of space within a setting is almost non-existent, as if, everything happens in one single dimension of a space- Foreground.

4) Tashan is a supreme example of such composition and photography.


Two very good things about this film:

1) The Opening Casting

2) The poster and trailers.


I’m sure I must have left out few more, “Great Points” from the films; do feel free to add them. Yeah, and for those, who loved the film, well, sir, monsieur, mademoiselle….



Luckily I saw this film for just Rs 30 in between a shoot; however, I still regret spending those 30 bucks. Someone at Yashraj please refund all our money. The reason I saw this film, irrespective of repetitive warning from all corners (Bollywood lover boys, Die Hard Cinephile, Bad film Reviewers and Hosts) was to understand, what not to do when I or anyone makes films. This film boost your ego, that no matter how bad as a filmmaker you will be, at least, you want make a crappy and a third class film as this.


Rating: Watch the film at your own risk.

8 comments:

Deepak Kumar said...

great review! I going rofl. Yash Raj Films have gone way down their standards in the last couple of years. Especially with this Dhoom thing.. ugh!

Kashyap Indranil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kashyap Indranil said...

I dont have to spoil my words after reading this review..u have covered all the beats.

Well one of the most Ugly decision that I took was to go and watch the film. I just wanted to watch a film in theatre and Tashan was what cursed for me.

After just half an hour I said my friend- "we are yet to reach interval"
He replied as- "Ohhh FUCKKK we have film after that also".

Thank god i had a large beer and i didnt get a headech like U, Nitesh.

Whenever we watch films the visuals, dialogues etc come and whisper in our ears, shoots our imagination but seriously Tashan is giving me nightmeres...

I just have one request to Yash Raj Films- SPOIL YOUR FUNDS IN SOME OTHER WAYS AND PLEASE DONT INSULT CINEMA.

nitesh said...

Thanks for the comment folks, I totally agree with you Indronil regarding the sheer wastage of film stock and a blasphemy of celluloid. I think the message is slowly but steadily reaching to the people at Yashraj, and they can't keep fooling and fucking around with people. And a certain amount of change is necessary,even if it means in methods and ways of storytelling- since this is basically what Cinema is all about for most people at Bollywood.

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supriya said...

i am yet to waste my money on tashan,and i wouldnt mind also, just to be motivated that we guys are better and also to come back and write on this blog more about the film

nikhil fearless said...

TASHAN as the name suggest...take u out of dis world...in all new imagination...the place where u will be at top...looking at others..thinking thinking and thinking...and at last laught at urself that why u saw that film.A bouquet of disaster...a failure of thoughts...and overall a disheartened insult of Art and of Cinema...
Before watching this movie...if u are a cinema buff...an admirer of art...than please put ur brain and experience aside as you wont even need to use nano of it.
Yash chopra has greatly drained the money...and wasted it all over.
Hats off to the tragedy and calamity which he has made...
RIP!!

Aayush "Gravito" Shrut said...

Awesome review man,me glad havent watched this movie yet(and will never do)....seems like Indian Film Industry is getting worse and worse :(