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Showing posts from March, 2008

When Aliens took away Julie

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Five meters long, four inches in thickness, round, fresh and at a cheap price of one dollar for a dozen- Julie loved slicing those cucumbers between her legs. The soft moist wet seeds when touched against the soft cones of vanilla ice cream, as she often described them; flowed in such harmony that she let out a soft cry. Julie could feel her body tinge and turn- she let out a moan- the fresh cucumber juice filled her moist inner desires and gave a sensation unlike she had before. When the juice and desire sank in, she took out her favorite Parisian cigarettes and formed halos above her head, in the sparse medallion styled apartment in downtown New York , Julie lived among art, sculpture and dreams. She could have been a model, with the anorexic body and small pear shaped breast, yet somewhat; her preoccupation was more with how art sublimed with architecture that she never fit into any broad category. Nor did it bother her a lot. Her flat was meticulously principled accor

BREAKING NEWS- The Horrors of Indian Television

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A recent burlesque advertisement on the state of various new channels in India , had a lot of truth embedded beneath those caricatures, and spoke volume about the pretence nature of these news channels. The advertisement was a premonition for the new upcoming channel. After all, sooner or later, they too would join the same race of presenting us ‘Breaking News’ which hardly moves beyond stars, politicians and interests which does not even speak one truth beyond the superficiality decoy of happiness or truth which these channels represent. The state of Indian Television stinks. Everything given to the masses is a repetition of events, messages, gestures, sounds, emotions and stories. Not that there is nothing new to explore, or something interesting to talk about, but the fact is, that no one is interested in reporting or programming anything which speaks the truth. Somewhere in the glitz and glamour of, 'Post 90's India ', the real India seemed to be buried deep benea

10,000 Bc- Dus Hazar Bee Cee

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Osiris 83 here What the f**k? Repeat that from the time this movie starts till the end in a recursive loop. No, it’s not at all difficult. Yes, certain movies can really be so spectacularly moronic. Read on. I missed the first 5 minutes of the movie – Sunday morning show. Anyway, in a galaxy far away …yes, I know what I’m talking about. This just couldn’t have happened on Earth. No fucking way. So in a certain galaxy far far away, a young mammoth hunter D’Leh ( Steven Strait ), who is a horrible actor if I may add, hunts a mammoth single handedly and wins the woman of his dreams Evolet (Camilla Belle). Evolet doesn’t speak much but she is quite hot. But, with a name like that, D’Leh could have made a fantastic career being a prehistoric R&B singer, and everyone knows ladies dig the R&B dudes. Yeah let’s continue … there is an old lady in their tribe who sees things, seems retarded and casts prophecies. Fair enough. There is also a dude who is named Tic Tic (what

UTV WORLD MOVIES- Oculto

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Gravito" A" Shrut here :- UTV World Movies is set to revolutionize movie viewing experience by giving us a chance to watch films from all nooks and corners of the world. Ever since it’s launch, I have spent a considerable amount of time getting cozy with the channel. The facts are that except for one or two non-repeated films in a week, the channels highlights are repeating the same films over and over again, hence beating Star Movies, Zee Studio and Sony Pix at the game. Though my two recent favorites has been Pen- Ek Invisible Waves starring Asano, and a A short film about love directed by the master Kieslowski, but for the first post I decided to go through a film which even though is screaming with clich├ęs and a lot of rip-offs and cheap philosophy, I somewhat liked the films. I wonder whether I was stoned or something, I don’t know. Perhaps it’s like how Cahier Du Cinema had, Lady in the Water as their top film of the year, maybe somewhere in that vein I like

Jodha Akbar = FAIL

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Osiris 83 here - I honestly cannot comprehend why the hell did so many so called (and maybe self proclaimed) critics of our country, who are nothing more than pretentious bastards and fan boys belonging to certain camp (SRK camp, Amitabh camp et al), lauded this movie as ‘revolutionary’ and ‘path breaking’. The hype machine started spewing praises ever since Mr. Gowarikar announced this project. Then came the music release followed by the delay. The release finally happened and with it came the controversy-wagon with the movie getting banned, Rajputs protesting, historians playing the dick waving contest and what not. I somehow managed to get the tickets after 2 weeks of the release. More than the historical accuracy I was interested in seeing Mr. Gowarikar’s metamorphosis as a director or rather, a storyteller. After watching the movie I am left disappointed. The movie actually started with a few disclaimers or maybe waivers w

Pravda: The Burden of Dreams

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My college life has almost come to an end. It actually ended long time back, but officially it would be over in a month or so from now. I wonder though, when will I clear my back papers. The reality of how difficult it’s to make my first feature film in India, and especially if the matter is social-black-comedy-provocative is dawning upon me. As I move from one place to the other in search for a Producer and spend hours writing to countless “State Funds” or prepare applying for them. The best part about trying to make a film is that it takes time and is energy consuming. Beside it brings you back to reality- the chance of being rejected in trying to make a good fillm is 99.99%. Thousand dreams dies, thousand aspirations fails and only lucky few embark on a journey to make films. I have always been romanticized by the idea that a collective group of people who care for Cinema should come along to make films- Support where needed. And that ways, things really move in they own “